Why do people think they know what’s best for you? Why are they sure that their decisions and only their decisions are what are going to keep you happy? Why do they not trust you with your own decisions?
Why should I do what ‘society’ will like and accept? If I do so, I will not be the person I am. How will I ever have self respect if I go against my principles? Will I not always and always remember that I did something I thought was wrong, but had to do it just for the ‘society’ that otherwise doesn’t even care about my existence? Am I indebted to society that I sacrifice my happiness for them ? Will, what I know is right become wrong just because the society doesn’t approve of it?
When I say society I am talking about Indian society. Ofcourse – the people elsewhere are more humane.The great Indian society where neighbours are more interested in what is happening in your life than the events in their. Surprisingly everyone seems to give a lot of importance to what his/her neighbours think of him/her. Although you will always be taught that your neighbour is a bad person, you will also be taught to give a damn about his perception of you. If he ain’t approving something, you are spoiling the family name if you still do it.
Almost all your relatives will take it for granted that they have the right to control your life too.The thing is even they will care more about the ‘society’ than they will for you. Finally, its all about the ‘society’. ‘Society’ will control your life till you reside in India. Oh, and if you leave India and talk of never coming back, you are “spoilt”.If you are open about your feelings for India – “I hate it“ , no one will still know – “why?” .You will have to hear to “Money is not everything in life!” sort of stuff. May be they just don’t get it and may be they never will.
Is it only about the comfort that I would never want to come back to India – No! Its the people, who interfere in my life, the people who judge me at every opportunity that they get . Its the sudo independence, the lack of freedom to act on my own decisions. You will almost read this piece few times a month :
Couple stoned to death
Indians are typically judgmental people – the sort that I truly hate. For us a divorcee is a bad person – an untouchable.For us a gal who drinks is bad.For us – 2 people who have consensual premarital sex are “westernized” and “Spoilt”. For us – a gal who can wear shorts outside the house is “spoilt”. We like to hide our judgmental nature under the cover of "our culture". What rubbish! I don’t get it – how does someone become good or bad because he/she had sex before marriage ??This disturbs me! And by the way because it does, I am “spoilt” too!
We also a cynical group, may be because of post independence lack of opportunity meant that we step on our neighbour’s shoulder to reach the top.I am taught that the whole world but my family is after my life – they are all here to fool me and take advantage of me. If I don’t get it, I am “naive” and “immatured”, “I have not seen the world”. What if I have seen the world, what if my world is different from yours?
“But… But.. you were born here” …
I did not have a choice! I did not choose to. I am an Indian only by birth, not by choice.
“But .. there are so many good things too “ ..
Ya, may be I want a little more than you do..
Do people love you only as long as you listen to them or agree with them? I guess so .. else you are just too “spoilt”.
